whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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asdf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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