what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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salad days!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Your mam is so fat.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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