What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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