Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

Women's rights.

What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

here's a joke... the american education society

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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