Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops