What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

What is square and grey? A grey square.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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