My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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