What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops