When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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