What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

I was watching Fox news.

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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