How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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