Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops