Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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