Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops