why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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the WNBA.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops