A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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you gay?

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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