Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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