What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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