Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops