What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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