Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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