How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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The WNBA

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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