Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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