I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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