Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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