How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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