Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops