A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops