What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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THe Election

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Knock knock Come in

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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