A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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