how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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learn. advance!

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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