- Anti Joke

What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

It's all Taggart

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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