Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Fine, ladies first.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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