Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops