What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

swag

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your life

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's There Me

thumb_up thumb_down -28

(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops