Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops