A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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run farther?

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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