Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened to the fish? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops