4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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