"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops