A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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