Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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Why did the fridge cross the road? Because Sally has no arms

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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The EPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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