What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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i committed murder

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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hi

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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I drive a 'rarri

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops