What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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minorities.....

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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