What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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