Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops