What fires shots? A gun

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops