How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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were you expecting a joke

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops