Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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A seal walks into a club.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

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What is the the mistake..... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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