How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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hola said the chinese man

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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