- Anti Joke

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

Two women were sitting quietly.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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