Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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what has genitial warts? me

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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